It has certainly been a sombre time of late. The killing of an unarmed black man in America is still very fresh in my mind. Not just the killing of George Floyd but also Breanna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery, to name but a few. These are just the unjustified killings that we are aware of, what the actual fuck goes on behind closed doors and closed ranks.
After picking myself off the floor after more police brutality, I have spent some time trying to further educate myself and I am very ashamed to say that I had absolutely NO fucking idea just how bad our brothers and sisters of colour have it.
I am sorry.
I am so so sorry that I have been ignorant for so long. My white privilege meant I could live my life thinking everything was rosey. Because I didn't grow up in a racist environment I just assumed that everything was ok and that England didn't have the same problems as America. How very wrong I was and I am embarrassed by my blinkered view of the world. Racism wasn't something that I was used to witnessing, so I didn't think it was prevalent.
I am sorry.
I am here to learn. I am here to listen. I am here to challenge the establishment. I am here to support. I am here to do whatever it is that I can do to BRING ABOUT CHANGE. And most of all I am here to stand and fight along side.
My white privilege has allowed me to be in a bubble of ignorance to what is going on and how people are being affected and treated. I always had a feeling that racism was rife in America and have felt it shift into even darker waters since that cunt Trump somehow managed to become president. But I always thought that England had it down quite well. How very wrong of me to assume. I have been listening to stories of things happening in England and I am shocked, saddened and angry. I want to be part of a country that is accepting of all who lives in her borders. I want to be part of a community where everyones feels like a member.
As I have been watching videos and reading posts the nasty racist cockroaches are there in the comments ready to pounce. I have been sickened and shocked at what I have read and I am ashamed of the human race right now. The vileness of humans is heartbreaking. Where does this hate come from?
Why, WHY can people not live and let live? What has someone elses life got to do with theirs? What are these racists so scared of? Why can we not wish the best life for EVERYONE - minus the fucking paedos obviously. I have had the privilege all my life to not have to worry about being judged for the colour of my skin. I cannot begin to imagine how that feels. To be profiled. To be judged. To have someone come to a conclusion about me because of my race not my moral fibre.
I choose to live my life with love and acceptance. I could not give a flying fuck what the colour of your skin is, what sexual preference you have or whether you have one at all or what religion you follow. Whether or not you shave your armpits or have loads of tattoos. I personally like to shave my pits but if you don't what damn business is it of mine? None mate, none!
What I care about is character and values. Do you share the same values as I do? I like to be polite and say please and thank you. I don't litter. I love people who are kind and supportive. I like people who look out for the more vulnerable in our society and the sort of people that if they see some shit going down are going to help. The people who make you cry when you watch them do something beautiful on the internet. People who have a wicked sense of humour and don't get offended by the word cunt!!! Loyal, honest people with beautiful souls. These are my kind of people. Do I care if you have a different skin colour to me? No I don't because it's not what you look like its who you ARE.
I would not surround myself with people who want to hurt others or think its cool to go around trashing shit or causing problems. The sly motherfuckers that would sell you down the river for their own gain. The people that are only out for themselves and have no loyalty. Nah they can fuck off, not interested in having people like that in my life, so I don't. It is not about the colour of the skin its the fact that they are complete fucktards.
If you are a dick you are a dick and I am not interested in having you in my life.
NO ONE IS SAYING NOT ALL LIVES MATTER - cue huge fucking eye roll whilst I type!! For fuck sake people get over this ALL lives matter bullshit. How privileged are we as white people to not have to stand up and fight for the lives of our race? Very damn privileged so rather than crying over it like a spoilt little cock sucker just be damn thankful that we don't have a white lives matter, and stand up and support the people who are having to fight. We are fighting for Black Lives Matter because black people are being murdered in cold blood by the very people employed to PROTECT US!!!!! Arghhhhhhhh wake up and smell the fucking gun powder. Black people are getting murdered for no reason other than the colour of their skin and no matter how you want to spin it you cannot polish a turd - its fucking wrong, you know it so rather than whining like a bitch help us fight.
Just a little heads up for all of you falling right into the media's claws, the looters and the people causing trouble at the protests are not the same people who are peacefully protesting. Lets get this straight shall we! These sly fucktards are defacing public property or throwing bottles or whatever stupid shit they are doing because they want to tarnish the movement. They want the public to feel anger towards the movement, towards the people, towards the cause. And guess what it's working thanks to our absolute cunt media. I have never hated the media more than I do right now. I hope they are ashamed of themselves for helping to spread the hatred. Karma is coming for you. And to all those getting upset about the passionate speeches being made, what are you scared of exactly? Would I be able to keep my cool if I was in this position? Oh absolutely not! No fucking way! I would be shouting, crying, anything to make my voice heard.
I concur that the moment George Floyd called out for his mumma ALL mothers, at that moment, were summoned. Just having to write this is giving me a lump in my throat. The thought of that being one of my boys is just too much to handle. More disturbingly as a black mother there are things that they have to worry about that would never even cross my mind. Reading stories from mothers about the rules they have for their kids is devastating and just incomprehensible. Watching your child leave the house and not knowing whether they will return not because they are scallywags but simply because being a person of colour increases their risks of arrest. When we think of the police as a white person we think of them being on our side. The voice of justice here to keep us safe. We do not think that they could break into our homes and shoot up the place. We would never in our wildest dreams think that they would lay hands on us or even kill us. Imagine that? Just fucking imagine the police being your enemy. Just try and put yourself in the shoes of a black person who is being spoken to by the police and not even feeling as though they can ask why for fear of what that officer might do. The shame and the embarrassment. The anger that would then bubble up inside you but instead you have to yes sir no sir the bastards.
I will preempt all the people saying 'well they must have done something" or "the police wouldn't stop them without cause". BULLSHIT. I do not believe it for a second. Black people are being profiled, targeted and treated like second class citizens. You want proof? The internet is full of it, go find it yourself and then feel damn ashamed.
Me myself and I cannot change the world but if we all work as collective then we can do anything. I will no longer be ignorant to the struggles. If I see some racist shit going down I will have something to say about it. I will be having the conversation with my boys and my peers. I will do what I can to make this world a better place for my brothers and sisters.
I am with you, I stand along side you and I love you.
May this be a moment in history that defines the coming together of the world to make things right. Let's continue to challenge the establishments and dismantle racism from its very core. How can we put our trust in organisations that discriminate and then proceed to cover up the facts to protect their own. It makes me feel physically sick to think the people we are meant to put our trust in to do the right think are corrupt as fuck. We have a fight on our hands and a long way to go but I am willing to walk those miles to make this world a better place.
I hope you are too.