I think we have all suffered from road rage at some point in our lives. From yelling thank you at someone who casually drives past whilst you wait and give them the right of way to dramatically throwing your hands in the air whilst someone cuts round the road about without using their indicator exclaiming, I aint a mind reader you bellend. There are many frustrations that come into play once you get into your car and out onto the road with the great general public.
Now I definitely get my road rage skills from my dad and also learnt my best swear words in the car. Because of this I always wanted to be a calm driver, however it is hard to stay calm when there are so many wankers about. Maybe I am just overly polite, I always say thanks when people wait for me, if you can see someone has made a genuine mistake I flash them a smile (you can always tell as they normally look terrified!). I let people out and I don't go up anyones arse.
UNLESS!!!!!! Now here it gets tricky and I will explain..........
..........driving 35mph down a road that is 60!!! This is beyond frustrating and actually rather dangerous. We have a windy road between where I live and where my mum lives and it is 60mph. There are only about 2 parts of the road where it is safe to overtake. Getting stuck behind someone driving ridiculously slow is like waiting for your washing machine to finish before you are due to go out, its excruciating. I don't go up anyones arse as I know how irritating and dangerous it is but I do end up mustering expletives under my breath and tapping wildly on my steering wheel! When people go up my arse I just get all pedantic and slow right down whilst letting my eyeballs bore into them from my rear view mirror. Yes I AM that petty but I have to say it usually works. If I am going the speed limit then back the fuck off or I will happily drop down to 20mph just to piss you off.
I tend not to let people out anymore as every time I do they go on to drive like absolute arseholes! Slow, no indication, drunk, who fucking knows but its one of those, I tried to be a good person and now i'm following a cunt who can't drive! I think for my own sanity I will just stick to driving with my eyes forward concentrating purely on the road!
No indication. Why, just why? The indicator is in finger distance from your steering wheel, it literally takes no effort to flip it so why don't people use them? Selfish pricks is what im going with!
Every now and then I am a bit of a cunt myself though haha. You know when you have been queuing on the motorway or in the right lane for a roundabout and some flash prick zooms up and tries to cut in??? Yeah you can jog on mate. There is no way that this stubborn ass is letting your entitled ass in.
I am finding my road rage is now heading towards people rage.
If you are walking towards someone in a big group it is just common curtesy to not block the whole pavement and make that lone person walk on the road or on the grass. I have actually given up trying to make way for selfish pricks and will now just carry on my merry way on the pavement and keep walking. The fact that these eejits act totally hard done by when they have to move over is just mind boggling! I actually scraped someone with my umbrella the other day and I am not fucking sorry either! Walking down the pavement and its been chucking it down for what seems like an eternity so the grass is mush. 2 guys outside the school having a good old gossip and taking up the whole pavement. I decided to give a little cough to let them know I was coming but nope, no movement. So fuck it I just carried on and let my umbrella penetrate his back (I would have liked to use it to penetrate somewhere else if I am really honest). Ooooops so sorry I say as I walk past thinking all you had to do was move to the side ya big buffoon!!
There is this woman I see every morning on the school run and my god she winds me right up. She brings her sons bike home with her after dropping him off. Fair enough its a nice bike and she doesn't want it nicked, totally get it. But just a little bit of advice, please don't ride AT US and then huff and puff because you can't weave your way through all the people still making their way to school and if you really want to ride his bike home, ride on the fucking road. Or an even better suggestion, walk the bike down the thin, child lined pavement and proceed to ride it when you get away from the masses of kids and their parents and onto the lovely wider pavement of the main road. I am pretty sure she fucking hates me because my kids are usually a little bit ahead of me and I have stopped asking them to mind out of the way because I get death stares from her regardless so you carry on looking like a cunt on a kids bike love, crack on.
I thought this year was going to bring us a bit more back to basics. Slow down. Smile at each other, say good morning. It was not that long ago that we were stood on our doorsteps clapping for our heroes at the NHS. Now I am reading, and hearing first hard, more and more stories of the bullshit behaviour that has been creeping back in and the despicable behaviour coming back to the forefront of society. It makes me really sad and just at my wits end.
I phoned my doctors surgery the other day to be told, rather bluntly, that it was a 2 week wait to get an appointment. Now that is ludicrous!! Was I rude to her? No. Did I want to say that's a fucking joke love? Yes. Did I? No. Because despite her slightly shitty attitude towards me, its not her fault, she is just the messenger and how does the old saying go? Don't shoot the messenger. So I just swore in my head, called the council money grabbing wankers, thanked her and hung up.
I am sure I have droned on about the parking situation where I live, its a shit show. Despite wanting to sucker punch people for parking like twats I actually approach them with a sunny disposition and ask them not to park like said twats in the sweetest voice I can muster. Most people acknowledge it, apologise and move on because I have been nice. Other people, well, they are so offended that their actions have been questioned that they become aggressive. Sometimes I just smile at them and walk off but depending on my feistiness level that day they are in for a real treat and a real mouthful. I have stopped telling my mum about my run ins, she can't cope. I think I find it really hard to tolerate such selfish behaviour and parking on pavements so no-one can walk down the road is just selfish and brings me back to the money grabbing council who just build more and more fucking houses and flats with no place to park. But please walk your kids to school as its good for their health and the environment - massive eye roll!!!!
I will leave you with this little nugget. Why do people who work in shops all walk around with their phones in their back pockets? Are you not meant to be working?Considering the high street is dying a death you would think that those who work in retail would be doing what they can to ensure their store stays open and they keep their jobs. Mind boggled.
This happened a while ago but I went to return some items in a very popular high street store. Well fuck my life the lady who served me could not have been less interested! No eye contact, no hello she just barked at me for my receipt. She didn't even ask why I wanted to return. Working in customer service myself and at a hight level, I get really fucked off when I receive bad service. I was very polite, said hello, smiled and to be met with such disdain fired me up on all cylinders. So I asked her is she was ok. She might have been having a tough day, who knows. Well I should have known better as she has been a miserable cuntt every time I have had the misfortune of being served by her. The furrowed brow and the yeah huffed back at me, well ohhhhhhhh, it just got me, so I told her about her shit service. I explained that it is common curtesy to make eye contact with someone you are serving and a hello wouldn't have gone a miss. Oh well the demeanour changed didn't it? She gave me the fakest apology she could muster. I asked are you actually sorry or are you saying that because I've called you out on your shit attitude? For the first time in my life I went to speak to the manager who was about as helpful as a chocolate teapot!
I just feel like some (a lot) of people have no pride in what they do. Like who fucking cares what job you have as long as you do it well and want to do your best and be the best version of yourself. That makes a great person. I have had some of the shiftiest jobs believe me, but I have always given my all to whatever it is that I am doing because it makes me feel good, makes me feel like I have a purpose and I have achieved something.
Funnily enough after that experience I went into the phone shop next door and received the best customer service, like I always do when I go in there. Writing that sentence makes me think that I may have written about this before but I can't really remember what I had for dinner yesterday so apologies!!!
Basically I am kind of getting sick of people!
Facebook doesn't help with all the fucking opinions rammed down your throat on a daily basis. Everyone getting offended by everything, when did we stop being able to laugh at ourselves and leave our egos at the door. The bragging. The selfishness, the as long as I'm ok attitude, stealing peoples fucking dogs!! Christ on a bike like who steals someones bloody pet? Arseholes that's who. It just makes me sad.
I see that I am not alone in this either with the amount of memes and quotes talking about how lockdown has been great because you don't have to socialise. How society has got so darn serious. Or how people would rather spend time with their dog than the be out in public. This makes me feel better and realise I am not the only miserable bastard out there!
I will continue to try and be a positive being and when someone make me want to sukerpunch them I will shut my eyes and VISUALISE sukerpunching them so it feels like it actually happened but I won't end up in a jail cell!!!