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All About P

My previous couple of blogs have been about our fabulous slogan clothing brand and more focused on the business side of things. I thought it would be nice to get to know myself and Nina a little more as we are the people behind the brand so we would like to introduce ourselves in a bit more depth through a couple of blogs. 

Our aim is to build a community of like-minded, funny as fuck, don’t want to take life too seriously kind of people so I guess its important to know what makes us tick!

I’m Paula the one who makes all the videos and likes to yabba on like a rampant rabbit on speed. Making videos is a relatively new thing for me as I have always suffered with the bullshit complex of caring what other people think. I was not always so concerned by others and can remember the shift between living my life on my terms in a happy and breezy way to suddenly being full of fear of others judgement.

I went to an all girls catholic school and for the most part really enjoyed my time there. I had good friends a few frenemies and probably a good few people who thought I was a bit of a dick. All gravy though as I was never bothered by others thoughts and was happy being a bit of a dick if it meant I was being true to myself. I enjoyed drama (shock fucking horror) and debate class and was never one to shy away from a performance on the school stage.

As I navigated my way through secondary school, largely unscathed luckily, I became more and more aware of judgement and people being judgemental. I have always been a very perceptive person and what I was noticing was tangible. I could feel peoples judgy comments or the sniggers behind their hands. This wasn’t even necessarily aimed at me but I was becoming aware of the art of being judged and I did not want to put myself in the firing line to be judged so I guess I dumbed myself down to fit in or to conform. Don’t make too much noise and no one will notice you so no one can judge you.

What bullshit is that?!?

I watched all these people on social media putting themselves out there, being raw and real and I envied them. Envied their courage and their ability to not give a shit. Now I don’t actually know how they were feeling doing those videos or whether they were shitting bricks, but no matter they were doing it anyway and that is amazing. That is strength and that is courage and I admire anyone who gets out of their comfort zone and goes for it. You people rock my world and are a total inspiration so thank you for paving the way for us.

I knew that’s what I had to do, get out of my comfort zone and focus on what I wanted to build not what others may be whispering behind my back. It helped that Nina pretty much refuses to go in front of the camera and that’s cool, I totally get her. She has just done one video over in our Facebook group though and our tribe were so bloody proud of her it was so lush to see. 

Getting older has definitely helped towards my feeling of no fucks to give. Wisdom comes with age and rather than worrying about people being arseholes because I’m putting myself out there I think well at least I’m going to get what I want out of this life. I still have a pang of oh god I’m a proper cunt but now I laugh about it and couldn’t give a rats ass. I even do videos without my make up on which is beyond progress! I seem to have my confidence back which is awesome.

One thing I love to do is travel. I am incredibly fortunate that I travel for my job and as I write this blog I’m sat at the window seat looking out at the clouds and the dessert below and feeling a sense of ease.

I did the usual backpackers route after university to Vietnam, Australia, Thailand, Cambodia and Laos and I relished every second. Well apart from some of the absolute shit holes that we found ourselves having to stay in. My god I realised then that I am not precious because if I was there is no fucking way I would have let my skin touch some of those mattresses. The thought of one particular shit hole in Bangkok is enough to bring the bile to the back of my throat.

I was also fortunate to have inter railed around Europe one summer and that was epic. I would love to go back to so many of the places we visited and stay in some nice hotels rather than hostels and sharing dorms with randoms. One particular night in Prague we had a rather heavy night out and I was puking so hard only to realise the whole fucking building could hear me! Oh well everyone hates the Brits anyway (apparently) so I just got more death stares than usual.

Often people ask why I have started my own slogan clothing company, what is my purpose. My reply is to have financial freedom and be able to travel the world in luxury. Take my boys to some spectacular places and have weekends away with my hubby Simon. Trips with the girls to Mykonos and Santorini. I really want to take my mum to the Hamptons (top of my wish list). 

Yes ‘things’ are nice but I love experiences and creating memories that I will be able to keep with me forever. I love a good all inclusive holiday don’t get me wrong but I’m feeling the need to explore more and get off the beaten track. Go places I have never thought of going and living my best life through travel.

Family and friends are very important to me and I am lucky to be surrounded by some seriously fucking awesome people. I really can’t stand those memes that insinuate something sinister about having a large circle of friends, like everyone is disloyal or bitchy. That is a load of old wank!

I have lots of different groups of friends, many have been in my life for over 20 years. Some I see more than others because life has a habit of doing that, but when we come together it is like no time has passed.

Don’t get me wrong we have all had our ups and downs but my god fuck with one and you fuck with us all. We are fiercely loyal but will also call each other out if you’re being a cunt. We lift each other up in our times of need and are there just to listen when things aren’t going so well. We laugh, we cry, we dance and we know each others deepest darkest secrets and that shit bonds you. No fakeness here, just real women, real lives, real problems but real relationships.

My biggest achievements in life so far are my boys. Two beautiful, feisty, independent boys that just make my heart swell with pride on a daily basis. They are also the reason I drink!! 

Just watching them grow with Simon by my side is a dream come true. There was a point in my life where I didn’t think I would settle down and have kids but here I am and I could not be more grateful. We are quite a simple family really. We love watching films with pop corn and a hot chocolate or playing monopoly and frustration. We don’t go out and about every weekend and in fact sometimes we like nothing more than just being in the house together, making shit with toilet rolls or the dreaded play doh (vom). Drawing, writing books (my eldest is writing his own book and comic the little legend) playing with lego. We are homebodies I guess or maybe it’s because I travel and Simon works shifts so those weekends that we are all together are really precious.

I am a true utopian dreamer. I want everyone in the world to be happy. I want the world to be fair to all its inhabitants and I want good to overcome evil in every instance. Being a utopian dreamer and living in this world can sometimes be really tough and I find myself despairing at all the injustices that surround me on a daily basis. I hate the fact that you have to fight to get anything done or to get anyone to listen to you and take you seriously - yes councils and doctors I'm talking to you! No one wants to help anyone anymore, you are just constantly fobbed off or transferred from this department to that one. There seems to be no consideration for anyone else either which I really struggle with and the entitlement?!?!? Fuck my actual life entitled people get my swear glands dripping!

I have come to terms with this world we live in and have decided that I will live my life in a positive way. What happens when I take this approach? I see positivity everywhere and I feel positive. This is not always so easy mind because as soon as you leave the comfort of your house you are surrounded by the general public and you have to work damn hard to keep those vibrations high!! I try my hardest to not let external factors affect my mood. Sometimes it works and other times I’m the one flipping the middle finger as someone cuts me up. I did a training once which said that before you leave the house you should imagine putting yourself in a triangle and everyones bullshit can bounce off the sides and not get to you. I bloody love this and have used it many times. My triangle is always yellow as that’s my favourite colour and what I see as a positive colour. 

As well as being a utopian dreamer I am also quite a sensitive soul. This is something I have only admitted to myself recently. I lost my dad when I was 18 years old and I think I changed almost overnight. I changed from a happy, positive, fun loving teenager to a cold, stoney, closed shell of my former self. Of course loosing my father was not going to be a positive experience and it has only been recently that I have been able to admit to myself just how badly I was negatively impacted. The walls came up and there was no way I was ever going to feel anything again because I had felt the ultimate pain and it sucked cock. So i closed myself down, shut my feelings off and went fucking WILD for too many years. I am incredibly lucky to have the most amazing friends who looked after me, listened to me, didn’t force me to be someone else and supported me in my darkest moments. They are still my besties now. God how they put up with some of my shit I have no idea but they did and I will forever be grateful to them for keeping me form actually drowning.

Because I shut off my feelings for so long I almost forgot how to have emotions that weren’t negative. I didn’t want to be sensitive because I saw it as being weak which is just fucking ridiculous. When I met Simon some of those barriers had to come down. I am also a proud person so admitting that I had a problem was not particularly easy. We are so damn complex us human beings and I feel like now I am open I am learning so much about myself all the time. I wish I had started this process earlier on in my life but hey hindsight is 20:20 vision as my nan would say. I have spent time working on myself, my mental health and my overall wellbeing because I can’t be a good mum, wife, friend or businesswoman when I’m lost myself. So now I cry at fucking adverts and watching Disney films with the boys usually leaves me like a blubbery mess in the corner! And I love it. I love being open and honest with my feelings, showing the boys that being emotional or sensitive is absolutely fine and dandy. I always emphasise the importance of having a conversation. I think society has lost the ability to just have a conversation before the shouting and screaming starts. Have a chat and try and sort things out the civilised way before loosing our shit and being aggressive.

I am so happy that as a society we are finally taking mental health seriously. We still have a long way to go and ALOT of funding needs to go into it but the conversation is being had and people are listening. Mental health, positivity, emotional wellbeing and resilience are all things that we should be teaching our kids and I hope one day we will see it as part of the curriculum.

What I would like to bring to the world is humour and joy. Positivity and a sense of belonging to a happy go lucky community. I feel that we can do that through Nipa Threads. We love to make our slogans fun, sarcastic or tongue in cheek so when you see them they will instantly make you smile. Having our own slogan clothing company means that we can spread our humour around one slogan at a time and spreading humour and fun seems like a pretty cool life goal to have.

 


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